Too bad song, dance and prayer can’t end violence.
The Celebration of Life held for 14-year-old Yashanee Vaughn turned into a three-hour, big-screen extravaganza, marked by a regular refrain: “End the violence.”
Unfortunately, the only person who had any ideas for ending violence was the last speaker. By then some folks were drifting away when it was clear there would be no more singing and dancing.
“It disturbs me to hear ‘Free Parrish. Free him.’ … How? When you clearly know he did wrong,” said Elder Elmer Yarborough. “We must stand and stare wrong in the face… stare the enemy in the face. Let him know … we are not going to let you take no more of our kids from this city …We got some sick folks in our community, and we got to start dealing with them.”
Parrish Bennette Jr., 16, is accused of beating and shooting Vaughn, his girlfriend, in the bedroom of his Northeast Portland home where he lived with his father. She is believed to have died on March 19. Her remains were found in July on Rocky Butte.
“I know you want to fit in,” Yarborough said, addressing the youth among the audience of 600 or so at City Bible Church.
Some girls, he noted, are willing to take abuse just because a young man looks fine.
“He called you out of your name, and you still want a relationship with him. … He’s your Number One, but he’s got about four or five on the side.”
To the guys, Yarborough said, “Everybody calls themselves pimp … I ain’t never met so many … pimps in my life. Get a job … stop depending on these young ladies to make you some money.”
To 14- and 15-year-old girls, he cautioned, “You need some Abercrombie and Fitch, you be willing to expose yourself on Sugardaddy.com … meet a man for $180 an hour, $350 all night. … Little girl, that is not your destiny… Do not lay down with somebody strange for a little bit of change.”
To the guys, he added, “Pull your pants up… if you want a job, get there early. … There is no romance without finance.”
To parents, he charged, “We need to be examples for these children. … Do you go to clubs and make fools of yourselves?”
He pointedly addressed Portland’s gang and gun problems and asked, “What’s wrong with the city that we allow kids to stay out at all hours of the night?”
Yarborough’s counsel clearly wasn’t what some of them came to hear. The 10-page program included many photos of Yashanee and her friends, and in a couple of the pictures it appeared some of them were flashing gang signs. Maybe the audience had heard Yarborough’s warnings before during the four-month search for her remains, when her family kept her disappearance in front of the public.
By comparison, Pastor J.W. Friday, accompanied by keyboard and drums, opened the service, rousing everyone to their feet and beseeching, “Touch your neighbor and say ‘Celebration’ … Put your hands together … Church, say ‘Amen!’ … Church, say ‘Amen!’ … Church, say ‘Amen!’… Let’s really upset the devil today! Let’s glorify God! … This is no time to be down now! … It doesn’t matter what you did last night! … It doesn’t matter what you smoke before you come in here!”
City Bible Church allowed the family to use its cavernous, dome-like facility not far from Rocky Butte. Two of the church’s three big screens added to the spectacle, which included interpretive dance by Viz-U-Lyze, women in party dress and stilettos, and the centerpiece — a gleaming, red coffin.
Yarborough’s call for youth to take “proper reading classes, proper math classes, proper science classes,” brought no one to their feet.
“A lot of folks in their 40’s are running over to PCC … Don’t wait until then, young people, do it right now.” Some of the young men in the audience looked at Yarborough as if he were just another man in a grey suit.
These kinds of funerals always end with an altar call. This one was no exception.
The youth, and then the adults, dutifully came forward when called.
If it’s like most of these funerals, which have become a U.S. standard in the past two decades, many people left the service no different than when they came in.
— Pamela Fitzsimmons
I came over figuring you’d be writing about the Slut Walk!
This girl Yashanee, I didn’t go to her fuenral. A couple of neighborhood friends did and they brought back the program, 10 pages of lots of photos including a cleavage shot of her. 14 years old and a cleavage shot! And yeah, looks like some gang signs in a few photos. Her friends?
I dont’ want to put any more grief on the girl’s mother. That one pastor spoke the truth.
I didn’t make it to the Slut Walk. While I’m sympathetic to the cause, I don’t think spectacles like that change minds. I’m also reluctant to condemn the Toronto police officer who is cited for being the cause of these walks because he told women to stop dressing like “sluts.” I’d be curious to know the full context of his comment. Is he a father? Was he offering some fatherly, practical advice? Has he worked a vice squad? (I once hung out with some hookers in Southern California for a story, and they finally asked me to leave because I was hurting business. I was dressed in Brooks Brothers chinos.)
I did notice the cleavage shot in the funeral program but didn’t mention it in my post. There is so much pressure on girls to look “hot.” If I were 14 today, would I be saving up for breast implants? I don’t know.
Pamela
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