Held to answer

Somewhere in Clatskanie, Ore., is an aging child of Aquarius who thinks he’s gotten even.

Finally, he can legally blow marijuana smoke in the face of anyone. Or so he thinks.

Poor Bill Uhlig is headed for a letdown.

Ten years ago, Uhlig was cited in Clatsop County, Ore., on a marijuana charge. He says all he had was a half-inch roach.

The details of exactly where he was and what he was doing when he was caught with that roach are not in the public record.

Even though marijuana was decriminalized in Oregon more than three decades ago, and medical marijuana is legal, Uhlig managed to get himself cited for a violation.

He ended up being sent to a diversion program, for which he had to pay $1,000, where he probably sat and listened to someone tell him about drug abuse. With diversion complete, the charge against Uhlig was dismissed on Feb. 3, 2006.

He’s been holding a grudge ever since.

Writing under “porsadgai” at OregonLive.com, Uhlig has been one of the most outspoken supporters of voter-approved Measure 91, which will  legalize marijuana. It will take effect in July 2015.

But Uhlig has been using marijuana, by his own admission, his entire adult life. Here’s a recap of that life from his posts on OregonLive.com:

“64-year-old, daily pot smoker for five decades. My cardiologist tells me I have the ‘lungs of a 25 year old.’ And, I smoke joints, exclusively. No high tech for this old hippie. Dag nab it! Zigs Zags were good enough in the 60s, and we liked it that way!”

“Honestly. I’ve been through this three times, three different ways. That disorderly conduct charge from 1967 (when I was a minor, no less) still comes up. And everything since then. Not that it’s hindered me in the slightest from anything, and most of my ‘offenses’ I wear proudly.”

“I buy my pot from an old friend. Everyone else that I know does the same.”

“I was a volunteer firefighter/EMT. … Prohibition has done NOTHING … Current law sets the penalty for possession of less than an ounce at $650; bumped to $1,250 AND 30 days in the hole, IF within 1000 feet of a school. So, huge swaths of every city, village, and hamlet have the power to throw you in their graybar if you didn’t take that schoolhouse down the road into account when Officer Friendly and his drug sniffing dog pulled you over.”

“Hey… I was an entrepeneur. I grew a LOT of pot in this state back in the day. Plenty of risk there. But I persevered and had a very successful couple of decades. Enough to retire early, in fact.”

In his comments as “porsadgai,” Uhlig has boasted of smoking dope on the job because it helped give him his best ideas. I don’t doubt that, but he was lucky that he had a job – graphic artist for Multnomah Education Service District – that allowed him that freedom. Many jobs don’t.

Uhlig’s biggest brag, though, was about blowing pot smoke in the face of Clatsop County District Attorney Josh Marquis at a barbecue.

Marquis, though, doesn’t remember such an incident and doesn’t recognize Uhlig’s name or remember his case. It was just a citation and likely would have been handled by the court similar to a traffic violation.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Uhlig hasn’t blown a lot of smoke in his day.

Looking over his 50-year history with pot, what exactly is the approval of Measure 91 going to bring Uhlig that he hasn’t had already?

And given that Measure 91 still carries some restrictions – remember even cigarette smoking isn’t allowed everywhere – it wouldn’t be surprising if a braggart like Uhlig runs afoul of the new law.

For example, he prefers buying his marijuana from old friends. Unless those old friends get appropriate licensing, he’ll have to find a new source under the new law. And he better be prepared to pay a tax on his drugs now. Under Measure 91 some of those taxes are supposed to go to Uhlig’s nemesis – law enforcement.

Even Anthony Johnson, chief petitioner and co-author of Measure 91 concedes, “A yes vote for Measure 91 is not an up or down vote on whether marijuana should be allowed in our state. Marijuana is already here, being sold widely in an underground economy.”

With Measure 91’s passage, he wrote in the Portland State University Vanguard, “The sellers would be licensed salespeople who have passed background checks, who ask for ID and who would be held accountable in police sting operations to make sure they don’t sell to youth (under 21).”

Sting operations! Now marijuana supporters are sounding pro-law enforcement.

Given Uhlig’s track record for respecting the law, it wouldn’t surprise me if he offered some of his favorite strain to a young man or woman – one day before their 21st birthday in a Measure 91-financed sting.

If Uhlig is really unlucky, though, he may some day know the pain of the parents whose child was struck and killed a few nights ago in Vancouver, Wash., by a driver who admitted to being under the influence of marijuana.

Would it bother Uhlig less if one of his grandkids was killed by a driver under the influence of marijuana than under the influene of alcohol?

Or would he finally see the absurdity of his fellow pot lovers who rush  to defend any driver impaired by marijuana: “Yes, but drunk drivers kill more people … yes, but meth users kill people too … yes, but drivers drinking coffee cause crashes too … yes, but … .”

It’s not that marijuana is worse than alcohol. It isn’t. It’s just that we already have a serious problem with substance abuse – booze, street drugs, pharmaceuticals. Throwing more drugs into the mix won’t help.

“My assumption is that if marijuana becomes legalized in Oregon there will be plenty of people who will want to partake who previously might not have, given its legal status,” wrote David Wooldridge in Portland State University’s Vanguard.

He represented a target of the well-financed Yes-on-91campaign (billionaire George Soros was a major contributor). The campaign worked hard to register college students and get out the vote. It may be that those younger voters made the difference.

Those younger voters, though, are entering a different workforce than Uhlig did when he was their age.

It’s an increasingly competitive world. Even college graduates have trouble finding good employment. Someone who can pass a drug test stands a better chance of being hired than someone who can’t.

Uhlig at 64 can look back and crow about his long life of daily drug use, full employment and now early retirement.

For Wooldridge and his classmates, being able to get legally stoned may be an empty victory.

– Pamela Fitzsimmons

Related:

Making the Wrong History