Category Archives: Uncategorized

A Poor, Sad Guy’s Lament

Somewhere in Clatskanie, Ore., is an aging child of Aquarius who thinks he’s gotten even. Finally, he can legally blow marijuana smoke in the face of anyone. Or so he thinks. Poor Bill Uhlig is headed for a letdown. Ten years ago, Uhlig was cited in Clatsop County, Ore., on a marijuana charge. He says […]

Cylvia Gets Her Wings Clipped

A young Jackie Kennedy, shortly before moving into the White House, said she did not want to be called First Lady. “It sounds like a saddle horse,” she said. By now, Oregon’s First Lady Cylvia Hayes must feel like she’s been rode hard and put up wet. She brought it on herself, but she had […]

The Luxury of Some Americans

A few times in my life I’ve had to kill a black widow spider. Normally I have a live-and-let-live attitude with spiders. They’re interesting creatures. But the bite of a black widow can cause illness and, occasionally, even death. Killing a black widow is nothing to celebrate. Kill it, clean it up, and make sure […]

Moving to the Dark Side

The worst job I ever had was in the circulation department of The Oregonian newspaper, taking complaints over the phone from subscribers who had not received their paper. This was last century when many adults considered a newspaper part of their daily routine. I was a freshman in college, and the weekend hours fit my […]

Making the Wrong History

It’s amazing how desperate some people are to be a part of history. It doesn’t matter which part. Years from now, what will the customers who waited in line outside Main Street Marijuana in Vancouver, Wash., tell their grandkids? “I waited in line outside, in darkness, before the sun was up. Finally … I got […]

Portland’s Call-and-Response

Gone are the days when Portland City Commissioner Steve Novick could create a sensation simply by opening a bottle of beer. Back in 2008, when he was running for U.S. Senate, one of his ads showed him on a bar stool talking politics to a guy who was having trouble getting the cap off his […]

D-Day’s Ordinary Men

Here they come, the last members of that over-hyped “Greatest Generation” to celebrate America’s longest and finest day. That’s how the publicity and remembrances of June 6, 1944 may seem to some of the grandkids and great grandkids of that generation. “That was 70 years ago. Let’s move on,” someone said to me last month, […]

Our Misplaced Outrage

White supremacist groups probably score a few more sympathizers every time the American media explode in outrage over a racist comment. What must a white guy think when he finds that even private, negative thoughts about blacks are not allowed? It could make a guy seethe. Especially if he can’t find a decent job, can’t […]

Intoxicated by Money

From the second floor of 24-Hour Fitness on McLoughlin Boulevard in Portland, you can look across the river and see Oregon Health & Science University on the hill, a reminder of what awaits even the fittest and healthiest of us. Eventually, the human body wears out. No matter how superior your genes, how devoted you […]

A New ‘Scoundrel Time’

Neil Koch and Jimmie Harper never married. When they were companions – from the 1950s until Harper’s death in 1992 – it was inconceivable that two men would ever be able to marry. By all appearances, Koch and Harper had a loving relationship. They also had an unusual restaurant outside Eugene, Ore., called The Country […]